Wild Pigs – Not Razorbacks – Loose in Arkansas!

{ September 6, 2009 @ 9:36 pm } · { Are You Fucking Serious?!?! }
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In an ideal situation, a population is sufficiently policed at a rate of one to four officers for every thousand residents.   Urban and more densely populated areas obviously need more assistance, driving the American average up to a little over two officers thousand people.

Jericho, Arkansas, boasting a whopping seven cops for one hundred and seventy-four people, flouts this convention in order to bring its people real safety.

Unless, of course, they dare to complain about it.  In court.

Jericho, like many other armpit hamlets, is in dire financial straits.  It cannot support other emergency services, such as a standing fire department, despite the steady stream of income generated by the city’s many speed traps and the liberal use of radar guns in people’s driveways.  Speeding is so rampant that other calls for service must go unanswered! I can only hope that one day I can take solace in knowing I’m being robbed because the cat lady down the street must be nabbed for doing fifteen in a school zone.

Like any good mob, the entire police force showed up to support their fellow officer when the fire chief complained to the judge about the liberal application of velocity law.  I’m willing to bet the cops thought the jealousy the firefighter (and all other hose jockeys by extension) have over being excluded from the “[insert city name]‘ finest” club is why he had sand in his vagina.  At any rate, the hearing ended with Don Payne making haste to a hospital in Memphis.  The officers shot him for daring to speak out and were probably banking on reasonable health care being inaccessible in the boonies.   If these fools were really as gangster as they wanted the townspeople believed, they would’ve shot the judge for being a witness, but I digress.  There is also talk of missing money; seems the nearest sheriff’s department expects to be paid for the use of its equipment.

Don’t you feel safe? I sure as hell do.  Who knows what will happen to the  Jerichoites without officers to protect them now that the department is shuttered?

Oh. Wait.  Nevermind.

–DC

Source: http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5haXSW0np0eqNFStaxdAeRzXQzBkAD9AG58C03

When Religion Backfires.

{ August 29, 2008 @ 7:46 pm } · { Injustice }
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Religious freedom is a privilege many people are dearly attached to and for good reason: spirituality is often intimately connected to who we believe ourselves to be in relation to the rest of the world.  Disparate religious practices and traditions more often separate people then bring them together until a common moral ground is found between seemingly incompatible groups.  The problem is what to do when one group wants to grow in number.

It seems that, in India, when 84% of the billion-plus residents are threatened by less than 3% of the remaining  non-Hindus, the proper thing to do is burn an orphanage to show your displeasure.  And killing a teacher in the process.

While mob justice could be argued to be a nearly universal human phenomenon, there is reason to question why the attack involved the building rather than the priest and the woman they were angry with.  Perhaps it was intended to destroy what they felt the Christians represented: unwanted forcible conversion in conjunction with ecclesiastic colonization.  On the other hand, it could be that there was a reason they didn’t want the displaced children no one was caring for–otherwise they wouldn’t have been at the orphanage in the first place–to have an education and escape the poor circumstances they were dealing with.  A particular brand of cigarettes, so tiny in circumference that they must be rolled by children’s hands, comes to mind.

Finding the common moral ground here has been nearly impossible.

This is, ostensibly, because there was absolutely nothing moral about it.

– D.C.

Source:  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26393959/

Asthmatic Death Brigade – Inconceivable!

{ August 15, 2008 @ 9:31 am } · { Uncategorized }
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Genocide’s never looked better for the environment!

 

With the FDA and EPA exchanging lube, CFC-based inhalers are being phased out.  The inhalers, which currently make up an estimated 85% of the market, contribute to .1% of CFC compounds mining for gold in your nostrils.  Nevertheless, the FDA is replacing these inhalers with HFA-based inhalers in an effort to go green.

 

It certainly isn’t a ploy on the part of HFA harpies who only have about 3% of the US market, nor is it aimed at killing off the millions of people who rely on these every day!

 

Three out of four HFA-inhalers also contain ethanol.  Ethanol (a corn-based product) is a known bronchoconstrictor, so your lungs will feel like they’re being given a warm squeeze every time.  The new inhalers also require deeper breathing to be effective, so be sure to remember that when you’re gasping like Paris Hilton out of water.  As of 2009, there will be no alternative to these items on the market, so those of you with corn allergies, you’ll be weeded out from the master race soon enough.

 

The hotastic president of the SS also voted to pull OTC inhalers off the market, so low income lung-seizers will become a thing of the past.  No generic form of albuterol inhaler will be available until 2017.  By then, the population will have thinned enough that the good air particles aren’t being wasted.

 

For those of you who aren’t utter douchebags, visit:

 

https://www.savecfcinhalers.org/

 

And save a life.

 

-A

LaVena Johnson – Inconceivable!

{ July 2, 2008 @ 7:42 am } · { Injustice }
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Consider the case of LaVena Johnson, a 19 year old Army private found dead in Iraq (July 19, 2005).

Ms. Johnson, a petite (5′1″) honor student, promptly enlisted in that branch of the armed forces after graduating high school. She died after only 8 weeks at her station, a suicide per the Army. Her father believes that she was the victim of a combination rape/murder and that the ensuing investigation is a cover-up of suspicious activity.

… continue reading this entry.

A Defining Moment…

{ June 30, 2008 @ 7:27 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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in·con·ceiv·a·ble (ĭn‘kən-sē‘və-bəl)
adj.

  1. Impossible to comprehend or grasp fully: inconceivable folly; an inconceivable disaster.
  2. So unlikely or surprising as to have been thought impossible; unbelievable: an inconceivable victory against all odds.

We present the good, the bad, and the ugly.

We talk about the things people think, but keep to themselves.

We decry the injustice in the world and laugh at the peculiar habits we like to think makes our species unique.

We also point out things that are just plain stupid.

At the end of the day, they’re all inconceivable.